While giggling through the episode, my boyfriend and I eventually came to the conclusion that we must watch this movie as soon as possible. Unfortunately, when we hit up the nearest Redbox we had no success. We checked the internet but couldn’t find a free version, and soon after we struck out when Netflix failed to have it on Instant. Reluctantly we admitted defeat, but this momentary obsession made me realize something about myself.

I truly love bad movies.

Note that when I say “bad” movies I’m not referring to simple cinematic missteps or films that are part of a genre that I may not enjoy. Rather, I am speaking about those movies that are so terrible that they transcend the confines of a non-award–winning film to reach the magical strata of just plain awful.

I’m referring to such cinematic abominations as Troll 2, Birdemic, Manos: The Hands of Fate, and The Room; films like Plan 9 From Outer Space and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, that when viewed by the average Joe will likely not be finished due to its lack of a comprehensible plot and amateur-at-best bad acting. These are the movies that I will ravenously eat up and promptly ask for seconds every time.

Why, though, would a self-proclaimed cinephile that prides herself on her well-developed film palette not only subject herself to, but fully seek out such terrible movies?

In order to break this down a bit, let’s compare a prototypical good movie to my list of borderline unwatchables. Cinematic masterpieces generally contain elements of seamlessly crafted, character-driven plots expertly presented by talented actors at the height of their talent. They have artfully shot scenes that capture both the beauty of the world around us and the power of the tale being crafted to the extent that a viewer could chose to mute the sound and still be able to enjoy the presentation.

My bad movies contain none of the above. In my experience, the scripts are embarrassingly bad, the acting is ham-fisted and over-wrought, the cinematography is elementary at best, and usually the quality of the special effects are laughable. They contain no redeeming elements and by all rights shouldn’t exist.

And yet they were made. This is what makes these terrible movies inherently brilliant. Yes, they are hilarious for all the wrong reasons and therefore are fodder for mockery, but the fact that they are around for us to enjoy gives them value.

Despite the lack of skill and access to the proper tools, these terrible films were not only crafted but distributed and became beloved by the cult film fans that found them. They were true labors of love by all involved, even if only for the short period of time that the key players were a part of them. The directors were working with the limited resources that they had, the actors were pushing just beyond their talent range, and the crew members were laboring for little pay to help create the often misguided yet nonetheless present visions. Right, wrong, or indifferent these movies exist, so why not celebrate them?

In essence, bad movies showcase the best elements of human nature even while serving as examples of the worst of cinema. Although they ultimately are failures, these films are still earnest efforts by their creators to make a work of art. The director, actors, crewmembers, and producers of these horrifically bad movies haven’t just created fodder for us to mock; they have developed a means of showing how people can join together to labor towards a common goal, and how noble that effort can be regardless of the outcome.

Sure we poke fun at bad movies, but ultimately there is something deeper to them that I think the average fan senses on some level. A piece of costume jewelry may be cheap, but through the right eyes it’s a brilliant accessory that makes an outfit pop. That’s what bad movies are to me: they’re the unpolished gems that lighten up my days and bring a smile to my face. For that reason they will always be something that I seek out, relish, and yes… enjoy.

She called me a “Nonconformist-Conformist”.

Now to her this has always meant that I tend to be, admittedly, a bit of a hypocritical pop culture snob. To be more specific, I generally think I’m not going to like a given movie, book, etc. just to be contrary to popular opinion, only to find that I enjoy it once I bite the bullet and see what I’ve been resisting (for proof of this theory one need only look to my article about Chick Flicks). Since I admit that there is some validity to her point of view I laughed off the utterance while the conversation faded into other directions.

However, later in the night the phrase got me thinking. A Nonconformist-Conformist isn’t just my friend’s way of calling me snooty. In a deeper sense it can be used to describe all of my fellow geeks.

I broke the phrase down into what the words actually meant, and came to see that a Nonconformist-Conformist essentially is someone that balks some traditional mores while accepting others. In other words, it’s the person who says that they don’t care for the mainstream while embracing counterculture whole hog.

And isn’t that what every geek essentially does?

Think about it… what is geekdom if not a fanatical love for that which others shun while simultaneously shunning what others embrace?

We love wrestling but don’t watch football. We won’t go to clubs but we’ll get together with friends for a night of drinks and gaming. We listen to indie rock and laugh at people who dig on pop music. Ultimately, the world we exist in is defined by what we will and will not do or take interest in.

Of course this is not a negative thing. To the contrary, this form of self-identification is a means of declaring ourselves as unique while simultaneously helping us to find an all-important peer group to join us in our interests. It’s a means of both finding a place in the world and thriving within it.

Here’s the rub though: being a Nonconformist-Conformist tends to mean a silencing of that which falls outside of the social group one accepts, for both good and ill.

For instance, if you get me started on anything having to do with Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy I will readily discuss in detail anything about the series. Whether it be obsessing about the intricacies of previous performances, speculating about how The Dark Knight Rises will end, or simply debating the merits of this series over previous incarnations of Batman on film I’m ready, willing, and able to rant about it all. However, if you even mention the Twilight series to me I’ll glaze over and shrug my shoulders in cold indifference.

Now, my embracing of a super hero and rejection of sparkly vampires holds no bearing on my day-to-day life. Instead, what it does is further my identity as a Girl Among Geeks rather than a Girlie Girl. Inherently I find value on both an internal and external level by doing so as this gives me my own identity to run with, but on the other hand it means that I am rejecting other interests to such an extreme that it casts me outside of other peer groups. It’s a form of isolationism as much as it’s a declaration of identity, making being a Nonconformist-Conformist a double-edged social sword.

This is not how I have to be, though. There is nothing to say that it is not only possible but quite potentially beneficial for me to spread my wings a bit and start to move beyond the comfort zone of the social group that I have chosen. I can come to find value in elements of art and society that I don’t normally adopt in order to broaden my horizons.

So now comes the tricky part… how do I simultaneously represent myself as a proud Girl Among Geeks without continuing to be a Nonconformist-Conformist? I think for me this is going to mean spending a bit more time outside of my geek shell, and allowing the interests of my more mainstream friends to trickle in. Maybe going to a few less indie movies and a few more chick flicks and listening to a bit more Lady Gaga and little less Guster will be good for me, and will hopefully broaden my frame of reference when I look at the world around me.

As a geek I’m sure I will get way too technical and studied about this endeavor, but since that’s a part of my geeky self that I adore I won’t fight it. If anything this personal, social-scope-enhancing experiment of mine may mean that I will deepen my current identity while I add to it.

Before I let this topic get to full boil, though, I have a confession: I am a late-in-life console gamer.

The shame, the pure shame of it all!

Now this doesn’t mean that I haven’t played my fair share of games in my younger years. To the contrary – I’ve been a gamer to some extent for the majority of my life. I played computer-based point-and-click and “God” games for years, but I never really made the jump to console gaming. That is, until I lived with a gamer guy and learned how much I enjoyed having high-quality, high-resolution gaming at my beck and call.

After I moved out of that living situation it took me about another year and a half before I bought my first console. The reason for this was rooted in a fundamental understanding passed down to me by my parents: gaming is too expensive.

This point was reiterated several times over the years by my middle-class parents. The high cost wasn’t associated with the console itself, mind you – that one-time expense would have been fine if not for the pyramid-scheme of other costs that is inherently associated. From my family’s perspective it was the constant consumerism that surrounded gaming that was considered to be too pricey.

When one owns a game console, there are steady expenses perpetually coming your way. The most obvious expense is naturally the games themselves, with most today starting off at $60 a pop. After that comes buying multiple controllers, accessories, and the never-ending stream of batteries. When all is told you pay a pretty hefty fee to be a gamer, and while the hours of enjoyment from a good game makes that investment very worthwhile, there is still the inescapable truth that this little hobby can come at a significant hit to your wallet.

So in my adult years I finally bit the bullet and purchased my long-coveted X-Box 360. However, while I was still reveling in my late-night Assassin’s Creed sessions, though, the gaming industry was about to give me several slaps to the face that made me, at least briefly, question if I had made myself into a chump.

First, both Microsoft and Sony announced the creation of new consoles, both set to premier before 2013. This meant that my brand-new console instantly had an expiration date put on it, and that even if I don’t get the Red Ring of Death it’s just a matter of time before it becomes an antique.

Now this was clearly just bad purchase timing on my part, but mind you this announcement came after a winter of both Microsoft and Sony heavily pushing their consoles, offering amazing deals on them just in time for Christmas. I’m sure I wasn’t the only person who felt like I had the last blast of a soon-to-be-dated product pushed at me just to feel foolish mere weeks later.

Then there is the persistent buzzing about lackluster downloadable content (DLC) that has been getting louder since the beginning of 2012. In all fairness, I don’t partake in this particular element of owning a console, but I also know that I am by far in the minority. Most gamers will readily purchase additional content to supplement their gaming experience, with a lot of DLC being a means of adding some extra value to an already beloved game. However, I’ve also heard a lot of negative feedback about DLC. Nearly all of my gamer friends have at some point expressed that they have felt cheated by disappointing downloads, over-priced additional characters that are essentially just new skins, and entire new campaigns that fail to live up to the hype and cost.

But what is far more outrageous has been the emergence of Day-One DLC, as recently happened with the release of Mass Effect 3. Amid the outcry caused by this marketing move, gaming executives rushed to point out to fans that DLC can take a significant amount of time to develop and must be worked on in conjunction with the original content. The DLC is set to go before the base-game release date regardless, therefore the date that it is made available for download is irrelevant.

They essentially claimed that this DLC icing on the gaming cake is just as sweet if you put it on day one as if you put it on day thirty. But from the gamers’ perspective, this just leaves me wondering why you didn’t put icing on my cake.

There is an inherent question of, “Why should we have to pay extra for something that is set to go on the release date?” When we buy a $60 game, we assume that we have the final product in hand. To have additional content be released at a cost in conjunction with the original game makes the buyers feel that they are simply an ATM with calloused thumbs to the game development companies, and discourages us from wanting to buy it in the future.

And then there is the hardest hit that we are being forced to take, and boy is it going to leave a mark.

Both Microsoft and Sony are reportedly going to side with the developers in the anti-piracy fight and make their new consoles put the kibosh on used games. In fact, this has already begun for EA games, and is anticipated to become more prevalent sooner rather than later.

Essentially, both companies are implementing anti-used game elements that allow for one-time game play, making it so that only an original game owner may have access to a game through a one-time use code. Not only could this spell the end of game resale companies such as GameStop, but it could also make operations difficult for the direct-to-home gaming companies like GameFly.

But what strikes me as being even worse than those possibilities, though, is the gaming industry’s blatant disregard to how gamers game. How many times have you taken a game over to a friend’s so you could crack a beer together and play live instead of over the internet? Who hasn’t wanted to play a game, but knew it wasn’t something you needed or wanted to play immediately, so you opted to wait a few months to get it resale at a cheaper price?

The anti-used gaming coding that is being set forth solves the piracy problems that the gaming industry is facing while much more offensively neglecting the interests of the consumers that quite literally nourishes it. As a marketing geek I find this endlessly frustrating since I suspect that there are other possible solutions that aren’t being fully embraced because they might be a bit more complex/difficult to implement, but would minimize the effects felt by the gamers. While this might be frustrating for game development firms and the creators of the consoles, they must ensure that the interest of the gamer is always far more important than their own comfort, lest they alienate the people they are counting on to keep purchasing their products.

Which is essentially what is happening with me: this late-in-life console gamer is already perturbed with the gaming industry to such an extent that she is strongly considering not purchasing another console. While I’m just one person, I am surely not alone, and if the gaming industry keeps going down this path the number of people joining me in this passive ambivalence will become large enough that they will have to take notice. The question now is will they do so before they irrevocably damage their industry?

Without going into narcissistic and unrequested detail, I’ve had a hard past few months. Work troubles, car troubles, financial troubles, friend troubles, and a few less-than-awesome random happenstances have spelled for a hard end to 2011 and start to 2012. But I’m remaining as positive and upbeat as I can. I am striving to be bubbly and to not let the avalanche of bad bury me too deeply.

This attitude evidently made my mother marvel.

She repeatedly uttered a statement that made it clear that she doesn’t know how I’m going about my days, and that she is surprised that aside from a few late night whining sessions I haven’t been leaning on her more than I normally do. I was flattered and initially brushed it off as a mother thinking more highly of her daughter than was warranted, as parents are known to do. But then friends started mirroring her thoughts. For a brief moment I let myself think that I have been truly a model of strength-of-will and mind-over-matter, and that someday monuments will be erected in honor of my fortitude.

And then I came back down to reality.

Here’s the thing – I know that I’m doing nothing more than playing the proverbial hand I’ve been dealt. I’m doing my best to make the most of this rough patch in my life, and if I have my druthers I will come out of it better than I went in.

That doesn’t mean that there haven’t been difficult moments, though. Far from it. I’ve had nights of full blown insomnia that lead to days were I physically and mentally can’t concentrate on anything. There have been moments where I’ve snapped at the people who have gone out of their way to make sure I’m okay for no other reason than they dared to remind me that there is cause for them to worry about me. It’s been trying, but I’ve found solace on the hard days by reaching out to my old, reliable friend – rabid obsession.

Following in a pattern I have come to set over the years, I have found a new topic to allow myself to become completely engrossed in instead of wallowing in my personal brand of self-pity. This particular round of life-trying-to-pin-me-to-the-mat is always going to be associated in my mind with being introduced to, and consequently becoming wholly immersed in, all things Game of Thrones.

Around the beginning of the year I was introduced to the epic HBO series, and I haven’t looked back. I’ve begun to devour the 800-page-each series of books that serve as the faithful foundation. I will discuss it at length with anyone who will humor me, much to the eventual dismay of many of those individuals who had never even heard of the series until I ambushed them. Gradually I am getting to the point that I don’t know how I will handle waiting for Season 2 to start in April, a fact that becomes all the more true every time I look at my Droid and see my Daenerys wallpaper taunting me.

This level of fanaticism may seem silly for an adult to exhibit, but for me and many of those I identify with most strongly, this is how we are able to find the means to move our lives forward.

For instance, I’m finding that by escaping into George R.R. Martin’s world that is dominated by valiant men and resilient women, I am finding parallels to my personal trials. Reading about this fantastic realm is providing minute but vital aids to guide how I am approaching the challenges I’m facing. While I don’t blatantly think, “How would Eddard Stark respond to this situation?”, I do find myself reminiscing about characters and their stories enough during my day-to-day life that their traits have begun to seep into my subconscious, causing me to feel more head-strong and positive in general. It’s a small element of how I am working through my dramas, but it is proving to be subtly, yet significantly helpful.

However, this is by no means the first time I’ve done this. Finding a nerdy obsession to sink into has been how I’ve gotten past all of the major hurdles in my life. As a child Calvin and Hobbes and The Simpsons were much-needed, entertaining escapes from moments when I was being hassled by classmates who didn’t understand me. My initial foray into the realm of comic books was sparked by being alone for the first time in the big city of Chicago my freshman year of college, and exploded into a means of dealing with midterms and stressful times throughout my four year experience. And every time I’ve had a heart-wrenching break up, the entire Sex and the City series has been there on DVD to help me laugh and have the cathartic cries that let me regain my sense of calm.

Essentially, my geekiness is my security blanket. It’s there for me to wrap myself in during bad times, swaddling me in grand or humorous tales that are separate from my trials and woes. I can snuggle in with the nerdy obsessions du jour and quickly come to feel temporarily safe and cozy. Though it is constantly evolving and changing in form, it has and always will be the way that I cope with tumultuous times.

There may be a touch of my greater personality that led to the aforementioned marveling of my mother and friends, but in truth I know that I have merely been exhibiting nothing more than a geek attempting to be at her best. I’m facing adversity with intelligence, wit, and a strong support system of friends, family, and pop culture, and in the end it will get me through it smoothly.

Over the years, my fanatically geeky nature has deepened my educational experiences, shaped elements of my character, and has also been a much needed emotional crutch to help nurse mental wounds that could have otherwise crippled me. With all of that being attributed to one trait, it is undoubtedly one of my most cherished, and may I say kick ass elements of who I am.

And I totally dig it.

“Typical,” he muttered under a soft chuckle, “a girl whose heroes are Disney princesses…”. As his sentence faded into a fresh sip of beer I found myself aggressively denying his accusation. How could he possibly think a Girl Among Geeks could find any real inspiration from a Disney character?

Our actual heroes? Well… they pack a bit more punch.

As I explained to my bud, it’s not that I don’t appreciate a good Disney movie. In fact, as a child of the late 80s/early 90s I grew up during the heyday of the Disney musical. I knew every word to every song, and in my more tender years I would dance and sing around my house pretending I was a beautiful princess.

However, over the years I have come to see that while Ariel and Belle may be strong protagonists, they are by no means formidable role models for young girls.

At this point in the conversation my friend and I ordered another round and began to go back and forth naming Disney princesses that, while generally headstrong and each possessing unique character traits, all eventually made decisions that in real life would be the foundation for a typical Lifetime movie.

Ariel is willing to undergo life altering permanent physical changes and agrees to give up her family and voice (aka her greatest talent and joy) to go after a man she’s never even spoken to. Jasmine is treated as a commodity by her father, is easily duped by the men around her, and has no true power besides her sexuality to impact any change on those who control her future. And Belle, the very princess I was dying to see in 3D, is a victim of Stockholm syndrome who falls for her emotionally and physically abusive captor.

I’ll spare you the remainder of the list that continued to grow. Essentially we discussed that every Disney princess is an example of how Hollywood and society in general has valiantly attempted to teach girls two things. First, that they can and should vibrantly be their own person, and second, that they will never be complete without the approval of their neighbors and a man, the latter of which must be won over at any cost so that he can swoop in and save them from their lives, making it so they never again have to be the strong individuals that made them unique in the first place.

It’s fairly depressing when you sit down and think about it. Especially when one realizes that many young girls view these beautifully drawn characters in fantastic far off places living heightened lives, and naturally want to be them. They may not be the heroes that we want our young girls looking up to, but unfortunately they are the heroes that we give them first access to, and sadly for many they seem to be ones that stick.

Eventually my friend and I let the conversation move on. We finished our drinks and went our separate ways. As I drove home, though, I found my mind wandering back to the princess portion of the night and my wheels started turning. Yes, I was one of the girls that started out worshiping Disney princesses, but at some point I ditched those role models and grew into new heroes. But who were my Girl Among Geek heroes? And what does that say about myself and my comrades?

The fact is that most every individual needs role models to look up to. Naturally we all have family members, friends, and historical figures that can fill these roles, but many of us also look to fictional characters as examples of the people we long to be but don’t necessarily see in our day-to-day. In general, this goes double for the geekier members of society that tend to spend their younger years standing on the fringes. We grew up saturating ourselves with pop culture references, so it only stands to reason that the characters that we most identify with come from TV, film, and comics.

For Girls Among Geeks, finding strong female characters is of vital importance. If we don’t want our lives to be exercises in changing who we are to appease those around us we need to find examples of women who refuse to compromise their character to be our beacons. Our heroines need to be intelligent, quick-witted, physically capable, enigmatic individuals who can stand up to the most daunting of opponents and not bat an eye. In short, they need to be truly badass.

This is where characters like Sarah Connor from the Terminator series come in. She’s a rough and tumble woman who is literally taking on other worldly creations in order to protect her child. She is physically impressive despite her size, and she regularly shows that she can outwit her competitors in a brilliant illustration of how one can utilize all of her strengths to defeat the toughest of foes.

Which leads me to the iconic Star Wars heroine Princess Leia. Like Sarah Connor she is a fighter, and both women refuse to compromise their missions for anyone or any reason. Over the course of three movies she proves a warrior, a military strategist, and overall an amazing leader. However, we do get to see her softer side when she mourns the loss of her home planet and gradually falls for Han Solo, which has proven to many young girls that one doesn’t have to ignore their emotions in order to be a true badass.

Not that Girls Among Geeks need those pesky emotions at all. Catwoman aka Selina Kyle requires neither an excess of feelings or morals to be one of my role models. True, she breaks the law on a very regular basis with little to no concern for the effect it will have on others. She is undoubtedly a villain. Despite that, though, she is a beautifully complex woman that is rarely found in the male-oriented comic world. When one removes her illegal activities from her character traits, she still stands as a fit, intelligent, crafty individual whose feminine wiles are developed enough to capture a piece of Batman’s heart, even if she will never do anything more than toy with it.

And then there’s Buffy. The iconic Vampire Slayer may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I can tell you that for myself and many of my friends Joss Whedon’s most iconic character is a perfect example of how a strong young woman can grow out of a literally hellacious childhood. Over the course of seven seasons we see Buffy juggle the same growing pains that many young girls will experience (i.e. dealing with relationship woes, friendship drama, and the difficulty of fitting in) with the responsibility of being chosen to defend her town, and more than once the world itself, from utter destruction. She combines all the common traits that the previous women did with a tenderness that is highly identifiable for young women, making her resilient strength all the easier to identify with and therefore seem more reachable for those that look up to her.

These vividly-drawn dynamic women are my fictional heroes. Unlike the Disney princesses that possess individuality but are willing to compromise it for the approval of others, my role models are definitively who they are at all times. In the face of adversity they neither shrink away nor bend their character. Growing up as a Girl Among Geeks I needed role models that aren’t afraid to be their true selves regardless of the circumstances to help me to feel more comfortable being the same. I’m truly grateful for how they have shaped me.

So, my fellow Girls Among Geeks, who are your fictional heroes? And how have they helped to shape who you have become?

I have over 300 movies in my Netflix queue and a healthy DVD collection to choose from at any given moment, and yet this borderline tomboy, self-described cinephile (who earlier in the same night watched the 1920 classic silent film The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari) chose to watch a movie that showcases, to the point of celebration, the very damsel-in-distress female stereotype that in real life she normally cannot stomach. The idea that a Girl Among Geeks like me would actually enjoy any movie as sappy and against the modern feminist mentality as 27 Dresses would be laughable if it hadn’t actually happened.

Here’s the thing though – I totally enjoyed myself. After a fierce internal battle I must admit defeat and finally say it: “I love chick flicks.”

And I’m not even talking about the ones that most guys can admit are good on some level, like Mean Girls or Love Actually. No no, I enjoy the ones that make my male friends want to puke from the sugary overload of melodrama. I may put up a front that I can’t stand these films, but in reality when I’m hanging with my girls and they decide to put on The Devil Wears Prada I get just as excited as when I see that Blade Runner is playing on AMC.

So this begs the question – why do I truly enjoy subjecting myself to films that on paper I should hate? Since I believe in the notion that people generally do things that bring satisfaction on some level, I must be getting something out of these pieces of cinematic cotton candy. But what could possibly be nurtured by them? And further more, what does it say about me?

Like many of my chick friends, I’m a girl who doesn’t do weak. I worked my ass off in school to get into a great university where I proceeded to take way more credits than I needed while working a nearly full-time job and completing four internships. Since graduation I’ve worked a number of jobs where I’ve put in extra hours and have gone above and beyond my job descriptions to help my companies succeed. Outside of the work realm I’m a dedicated friend and family member who finds a way to make myself available to as many people as possible in as many ways as possible. I volunteer, regularly hit the gym, write, game, watch way too many movies, and craft in my far-too-little spare time. Needless to say, I’m a busy girl.

I list all of this about me not to brag in any way. On the contrary, I know I am completely the typical American 20-something female. As members of Generation Y, my peers and I were raised to be strong and to strive to be as self-sufficient as possible. We were taught that we could and should be everything we want to be. Collectively, we strive to be at the top of our game at home, at school, and at work, and over time we’ve come to understand that there isn’t an option to not do it all. We’re smart, witty, together people who are productive, amazing members of society.

And frankly… it’s exhausting.

Spending any given day with many of the women I know is like running a marathon. Even if they aren’t physically moving from place to place, they mentally are juggling enough different tasks that by the end of the day they sleep like a rock. Occasionally I find myself looking at my ladies and wonder, “How are we able to do so much and still be such steady, balanced, pleasant people to be around?”

The answer: we find small ways to escape. Amid our over-filled schedules we seek out a few minutes here and there to break away from our stresses and let our minds wander. For myself and many others one of the simplest and most satisfying ways to achieve this escapism is to periodically indulge in two hours of chick flicky goodness. And it’s glorious.

When I turn on Dirty Dancing I’m not thinking about the bills I need to pay, or how I didn’t quite meet my goals at work this month. Instead, I’m thinking about how indeed Johnny won’t let anyone put Baby in a corner, because he loves her dammit and that’s all that matters! The worlds created by chick flicks aren’t realistic in their plot lines or depictions of how women think or act, but that’s exactly what makes them great. In reality we may not need a man to complete our lives, and we aren’t going to go on grand wild, sexy adventures, but after a week of 18 hour days its nice to fantasize that all of our stresses will melt away after one dramatic kiss.

My fellow Girls Among Geeks and I may not have and don’t necessarily need a male partner, but when we watch chick flicks the little girl who was read fairy tales about knights in shining armor riding into town and saving the pretty young girl from her dreary life starts to stir again. That little girl begins to remember playing house with her Barbie dolls and having weddings for her stuffed animals, and she won’t shut up about how great she thought that was until even the toughest broad can’t resist sinking into the comfort of a rescue parable.

We hate to admit it, but even the strongest women sometimes wants that little girl’s imaginary world to be real, even if it only meant someone to share in our stressors. To put it in Sex and the City terms, even the Miranda girls sometimes want their Charlotte fantasy, and naturally Hollywood is more than willing to oblige that for the cost of a movie ticket.

So, what does my love of chick flicks ultimately say about me? Essentially, that I’m a normal woman. It doesn’t diminish the elements of my personality that make me a vibrant, self-reliant individual. Rather, I’ve come to see it as my means of maintaining them. Chick flicks are my mini mental vacations from the plethora of stresses that fill up my days, and for that reason alone they are something that I value deeply. My late-night self-hatred has lifted, and my internal judgment is gone. Now excuse me while this Girl Among Geeks turns on Pretty Woman: it’s been a long week, and I’m in need of a healthy serving of Julia Roberts.

Or at least that’s how it is for Geek Guys.

Geek Girls, on the other hand, are a group that I’ve tried to distance myself from as much as possible. Rather than a Geek Girl, I consider myself a Girl Among Geeks. Why the distinction, you ask?  It comes from one simple idea – I am not, as many websites and accepted social idioms imply, socially retarded.

While doing research for this article I decided to look at websites that attempted to define a Geek Girl. In the process I came across website after website that set women in early 21st century America into two distinct categories: those that are flighty, moronic damsels in distress who can do little more than giggle while flipping through Cosmo and whimper at the sight of a game controller, and those that are pure social recluses who pound out code and study up on scientific theory by day only to retreat to their lonely Sci-Fi poster covered lairs at night to look out on the world passing by, sigh that they aren’t a part, and report to their nightly Buffy reruns while writing fan fiction. The former are your run-of-the-mill dames you meet around every corner.  The other is the summarized picture of a Geek Girl.

Needless to say, I was less than pleased at this characterization.

Now naturally there are some elements of the Geek Girl stereotype that chicks like me embody. I adore gaming and get a not-so-secret enjoyment when I take a guy down in Mortal Kombat (specifically, it involves smack talk and strutting around the living room a’ la Hulk Hogan entering a ring circa 1984). I’m straight-up obsessive about my pop-culture fixes, be they the latest episode of The Big Bang Theory, watching the audio commentary version of Fight Club, or searching for the latest clips from The Dark Knight Rises set. Most importantly, though, I’m intelligent and unafraid to show it, be it through a simple correction of a friend’s grammar, or by going into a fully uncalled for diatribe about a random scientific fact I heard about the Lyre Bird while watching a David Attenborough wildlife special from years ago on NetFlix. I own my inner geek fully and whole heartedly.

But I also am a normal female member of the lower-middle class. I go to the salon and blow $100 on my hair just for a chance to be pampered and flip through the latest Vogue. I will spend a night with my guiltiest of pleasures (aka bad reality TV) and be unashamed to talk about it the next day around the watercooler with coworkers. Most notably, though, I am a girl who likes to interact on a normal social level with a wide variety of people.

Which brings up another point of contention I had while performing my research: I was stunned at how many times I saw a Geek Girl defined with some, if not all, of the following terms: isolated, work-obsessed, over-weight, awkward, ignored, and temperamental. I read the words “Her best friend is her computer” a depressing number of times. While there were a number of sites I found that portrayed my kind more positively, it was not enough to remove the chip that had been firmly placed on my shoulder. This overwhelmingly negative tone perfectly exhibits the under-lying myth about a geeky girl: we’re a lonely brood who are obsessive about our genderless interests merely because we have nothing better to do with our time.

That is by no means a description of myself, and for that matter any of the geeky chicks I adore. I’m an active dame who, yes, puts a lot of time into work, but also puts in equal effort to play. I work out, cook amazing meals, and hit up local bars and clubs regularly. I go on dates with a wide variety of guys, and when I go to a party I can float between all of the social circles. My shoe collection rivals my film collection, and for the record my best friend is of flesh and blood, not RAM and CPU.

If this means I’m not the world’s definition of a Geek Girl, that’s fine by me. I’m a Girl Among Geeks, and dammit I’m proud.

So here’s my new mission: I’m going to use this format to dig down and define a Girl Among Geeks. And I’m not going to do this by spouting stereotypical and one-dimensional notions. Instead, I’m going to create a model of us over time by chronicling our interests, ranting about our hot button issues, and explaining our perspectives on the Geekiverse. It will be more of a long-term case study, and if I have my druthers it will be a wonderfully entertaining one at that.

And hey, fellas: take this as a chance to learn about some witty, super-awesome ladies that you would not only love to spend a night with playing Arkham City while splitting a six pack, but will actually say yes when you extend that offer.

So, Girls Among Geeks, declare yourself! I know you’re out there, so come and join my revolution!